This course UP to Now

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. I knew that somewhere, in this course I’d get stuck and fall behind. Well, it’s happened. I feel like the proverbial spinning tire in a snow bank. Have you ever been there? If you’ve lived any length of time in the Northern Kingdom of New England the snow bank demon will getcha. Back up to far, and you’ll get hung-up or drop off in a snow hidden ditch. That’s when the fun begins. Spin, spin, spin. Hear those tire treads whine. Rock back-and-forth. Don’t back up too much! You’ll get stuck even worse.
The fun really happens when some buddies come by and try to help. When you’re in college everyone tries to help. They don’t really know you, but everyone’s your buddy when you’re in distress on campus. Remember when…. Yeah, team! Or, man, you’re really stuuuuck. I remember those days. Most of the time I got out pretty good, with a little help from my college “buddies.”
I drove my grandparents 1973 Olds 98 to the University of Maine to and from home. It was a beast to drive, and heaven help you if you got stuck. One time, when I backed into a snow bank, it took four guys to get me out. The car was built like a tank (445 Rocket engine), but couldn’t get it out. I could smell the rubber getting toasty on the slick, icy pavement. My “buddies” got me rocking back-and-forth, and it finally broke free. That was nice of those guys. I hope they all found fulfilling lives, and each live in a warm comfortable house somewhere – warm - like Florida or Hawaii (California is too congested and full of nincompoops anyway).
I should know. My brother lives out there. No, he’s not a nincompoop, but he says it sure is crowded – more crowded than say, Old Orchard Beach on the Fourth of July, or Rockland during the Lobster (say lobstah) Festival. Ayah!
Well, I am stuck looking for a college buddy or two to help me out. You see, I’m really not a computer major. I’m a heritage studies major, and I took this course to help fill my electives. Besides, I’m a bit of a throw back. I still own a typewriter; a Brother XP210 (or something like that).
I’ll bet you’ve got one stored away collecting dust in the back of your closet. And, I’ll bet it’s lonely… back there, alone… sitting in the dark… crying, and yearning to just be taken out and told “Hello.” A neglected communication machine is a terrible thing to be ignored. Just think of all the papers it got you through high school and college (well, part way). And, what happened? A cutesy, little Mac came by and said, “Hello” and that was the end of a beautiful relationship with that typewriter. Shame, shame. Now, your kids won’t even go near it. So, give old technology a second chance on life. Donate it to “Good Will” or a thrift store. Go ahead. Make some elderly person’s day. But, before you do, give it a hug, and tell it… whatever.
Now, where was I before all that euphemism. Okay, I’m a lot like my grandparent’s 1973 Olds 98. Aside from the size… I’m just not up on the latest techno-cology. Like one furnace repairman told me, before he started working on the furnace, “I know enough to be dangerous.” That’s scary!
Okay, I get what a pod cast is, but my computer says that it already has Audacity installed. Oh yeah, where? I’ve looked at all my files. Nothing. Is it in Media Player or MovieMaker? If I had a hammer and a screwdriver, I bet I’d find it. Don’t be so aghast! I’ll bet you’ve felt the same way too, when trying to figure out this dang stuff.
And, how in the heck do you download a video off YouTube to put it on your dang-busted blog? #$@^&*! And what in the world is encrypt (YouTube lingo). I need a dad-burn techno-dictionary to understand this stuff. Arrrrgh! A Yosemitee Sam clip art would be a good cut-and-paste right here. Dang-busted galute! Don’t have one. I’ll find one and edit later.

Hey, I found one! Good old Sam, the Hessian, I-am.

Well, that felt better. Don’t be alarmed. I’m just letting off steam. I should apologize to anyone this may offend. We have so many “it’s my right to have issues” people out there. I meant no defamation of character, or harm. Peace.:)